In the anti-violence sector, we often emphasize harm caused by men. And necessarily so, since it shapes our world in profound and violent ways.

However, survivors accessing Salal’s support services have recently highlighted the grief, pain, and disappointment experienced when women enable, cause, and perpetuate gender-based and sexualized violence. This is an uncomfortable and complex truth that shapes the experiences of countless survivors seeking accountability and justice for the harm they have lived through. Recent conversations in the public consciousness have also brought these issues to light: such as the instrumental role of Ghislaine Maxwell in facilitating sexual violence and sex trafficking, and Andrea Skinner’s heartbreaking testimonial of abuse at the hands of her stepfather enabled and dismissed by her mother, Nobel Prize-winning Canadian author Alice Munro.

Through our work and throughout history, we’ve seen this harm show up in many forms:

• Friends, colleagues and family members who silence survivor disclosures by minimizing, invalidating or dismissing their experiences
• Nuns in residential schools who sexually abused Indigenous children
• Mothers, silenced by their own trauma and shame, who in turn silence children in their care
• Those who, competing for the male gaze, dismiss or disbelieve other women and femmes, even framing sexual harm as desirable attention
• Women in positions of trust; teachers, counsellors, and practitioners who exploit their power and harm against those seeking care

The actions of women who perpetuate harm against survivors does not exist in a vacuum. The very systems of oppression and exploitation that shape our societal landscape, also create the conditions for women to become complicit in perpetuating harm against survivors. Patriarchy, colonialism, capitalism, racism, homophobia and others have created hierarchies that pit us against each other.

At Salal, we hold space for these complexities. Survivors come in all genders, and so do those who cause harm. Acknowledging this truth opens pathways for collective healing. Each of us must do our own healing in community, notice when shame or power is at play, and take accountability for our actions. 

Salal’s 24-Hour Crisis & Information Line is for all survivors of gender-based violence and for family and community members who stand with them. No matter who has harmed you, we’re here to listen. Call 604-255-6344 or 1-877-392-7583 for immediate support.