November 20th marks the annual tradition of Trans Day of Remembrance (TDoR). This is a time to honour and remember trans people who have died due to violence over the past year, with the majority being trans women of colour. We get together to read their names and light a candle for each one; by the end, we are surrounded by hundreds of flames representing both the spirit of resistance and the immense grief that exist side by side for trans people. 

It takes hours to get through the names and the circumstances of their deaths, let alone taking the time to appreciate their lives. By the end, everyone is too exhausted to do much more than hug each other, shuffle home, and promise to do it all again next year so that no trans women will die unrecognized. 

The air is heavy and thick at TDoR as we try to comprehend something larger than our hearts and minds can hold as it’s too much to hold all the tragedy in the room. This is a stark reminder that transmisogyny kills and ending it is a matter of life and death. The simple fact is that trans women are murdered by systems as much as by people. There are simply not enough bad apples in the world for this to be anything other than the predictable outcome of transmisogyny, racism, and colonization.

As feminists, we know that sexualized violence is caused by those same systems that murder trans women of colour. We also know that feminism is not a safe haven from oppression and that much of the transmisogyny in the world is done in the name of feminism. 

Trans-exclusionary feminism is not a difference of opinion, it is the weaponizing of racist and misogynistic stereotypes of white cis women as helpless victims in an effort to have trans women killed. It is also not a relic of the past, but something that is thriving largely unchecked in Vancouver and beyond. 

Within transmisogynistic feminism, trans women are framed as dangerous intruders. Cis women – particularly white cis women – on the other hand, are seen as incapable of using violence. This is how transmisogynistic violence comes to happens in the name of ‘protecting’ cis white women, in a similar way that white feminism is weaponized to racist ends against men of colour. When violence is used against trans women simply for existing, it is built on the misconception of trans women being dangerous to cis women. TDoR reminds us that trans women are exponentially more likely to experience violence than to enact it. 

It is easy for those of us who are not trans women to distance ourselves from transmisogyny with the idea that it’s not ‘real’ feminism, but the work of allies is not meant to be easy. There is work to do: we must examine the ways that feminism has been weaponized to shelter and privilege cis white women in order to move towards the feminism we want. It’s critical that we speak to the ways that harm has been caused in the name of ‘feminism’ and prioritize holding each other accountable to doing better. 

This TDoR, we’re asking feminists to step up with us and demand the end of transmisogyny within feminism. We’re asking our partners in the anti-violence sector to refuse to share space or resources with transmisogynists, the same as we would not work with other violent groups. We’re having conversations about the ways that mainstream feminism has weaponized victimhood to perpetuate more violence, and we’re recommitting to demanding that all of the feminist spaces we’re in be trans affirming. 

To cis allies: We’re asking you firstly to resist the urge to think of transmisogyny as something ‘out there’ and see where it might be showing up in your life, and then refuse to let it stand. Ruin the dinner party! Make the meeting awkward! Because trans women are being killed all the time. 

Please take some time tomorrow to read the names this year, and maybe light a candle in the tradition of TDoR. As is often the case for queer and trans people, we grieve at the same time as we roll up our sleeves and get to work, so we invite everyone to join us in recommitting to ending transmisogyny from where we’re at.